Happy Non-Demominational Annual Winter Festive Time Off Work!!

It's that time of year again. Children are smilling (because they've just happyslapped Santa), The snows are falling (possibly in Norway, but it's pissing down here!), and we offer tidings of peace and goodwill to all man (unless he's about to buy the last robotic dinosaur in the shop in which case it's all fair game!)

I believe that the traditional image of Christmas never existed outside of cheesy cards, cartoons and Charles Dickens novels in which everybody was called Mister Snigglebottom. In reality Christmas for me involves getting drunk and watching telly, usually while attempting to fathom the latest electronic gizmo with which you cannot comprehend how you managed to suvive all those years without.

And of course to make sure that you get yourself down to the shops to purchase these gizmos the Christmas decorations are put up in Mid June, and the Carolers start going door to door long before the clocks go back. Of course all this commercialism means that by the time The Queen makes her annual festive address to the nation, you are one play of "Last Christmas" by Wham! away from complete mental breakdown.

Then after 6 months of Build-up and one Dr Who special - it's all over!

The Tree comes down, your Gizmo is thrown in a drawer to never be seen again, and your Credit Card company break your legs for non-payment.

But still I had a week off work, and it's only six months until it starts all over again!