Best of British

1. We don’t do things by Halves: We can turn a simple thing like opening a new building at Heathrow, and turn it into an entire weeks entertainment. The 2012 Olympic opening ceremony will be joy to behold!! (I have this bizarre premonition that the flame will be lit by Ozzie Osborne... and that a torch won't be involved!)

2. We’ll never rest on our Laurels: The British will never take an argument as simple as “it works perfectly” as an excuse not to invent a new more complicated and ergo better way of doing things. Anyone who has ever tried to pay a parking fee via mobile phone will know this to be true

3. Which leads us to our inventiveness: Ok so Brunel is no longer building the world and our status at the forefront of science may have died with the Sinclair C5, but you know it was the British who realised that Hob Nobs taste better when added to Tea. (And of course we invented the yardstick against which every invention ever invented will be compared - sliced bread!)

4. We drive on the right side of the road, which of course is the left side of the road: Obvious when you think about it. Especially when all your potential Enemy’s build tanks which are left hand drive. Any possible invasion will be delayed by at least the time it takes to kit an entire army with headlight converters – Genius!

5. Our calmness in times of crisis: If you look back at any catastrophe throughout history you will find a Briton there saying “Ah well, could be worse I suppose!”. We stay focused and determined in the face of even the harshest adversity. Look for example at "The Great Escape" (and I do on most Bank Holidays) They were not going to be deterred by anything, even though they had all read the script and knew that for some reason only the Americans would survive this one