The Lotus Position

The new Lotus Renault in black and gold retro JPS livery is looking great! Of course that is Lotus Renault formally Renault as opposed to Team Lotus Renault which was formally Lotus Racing. Lotus Racing Renault who want to be Team Lotus Renault even though they are not linked to Lotus cars, as Lotus cars are actually involved with Lotus Renault.

Lotus Racing who are currently the operating name of 1Malaysia Racing have already taken part in a seasons worth of GPs with those points being added collectively to those of Team Lotus. So if Lotus Racing cannot continue as Lotus Racing and Lotus Renault takes on the mantel of true successor, then do those figures switch to the team formally known as Renault or stay with 1Malaysia Racing? Will Lotus Renault be a continuation of the historic Team Lotus or will they keep the History of Benetton/Renault?

Did Lotus Racing ever really exist, and if not then where's Jarno Trulli been this year?

God it's too early i the morning for this, I need a lie down

The Calm Before The Storm

As I write there are about 12 hours left in the 2010 Formula One World Championship, a season which promised so much and delivered even more!

In recent years it has seemed that if this highest echelon of motor racing had been a Hollywood production, it’s writers would have swept the Oscars time and again.

In 2007 the World Champion Fernando Alonso found himself alongside a talented young protégé, Lewis Hamilton. As the relationship soured the on-track action intensified, Along the way their McLaren team would find itself up before the governing body accused of dirty tricks and espionage. As they headed into the final race of the year the title was surely going to either the old master or the young charger, of course nobody had mentioned this to Kimi Raikkonen.

12 months later and with Alonso back in the safety of his Renault and Raikkonen fading into the scenery, it was to be a showdown in Brazil between Hamilton and Felipe Massa. Massa did everything he had to do leading a wet-dry-wet race from lights to flag in front of his adoring home crowd. He took a brilliant win and crossed the line as the new World Champion - of course the race was not over yet! As the Ferrari team danced in jubilation Lewis Hamilton passed a struggling Toyota on the last corner of the last lap to steal the Brazilians glory and win a historic victory.

If anyone had thought the drama of that Interlagos race was as exciting as it could possibly get then they had not factored in the 3 B’s from Brackley (Brawn, Button & Barrichello)

In a season turned upside by new rules and technical innovations the little team Honda didn’t want leapt from tail-end-Charlie's to World Champions. With the old guard of McLaren & Ferrari struggling it was to be the Red Bull’s of Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel who would emerge as the team to beat as the season wore on. With Jenson off to Join Lewis in a McLaren Super team and the return of the legendary Michael Schumacher to fill his void, the seeds where sewn for an epic 2010 season.

It didn’t start well of course. Even to a hardcore fan like myself the opening GP of the year on an strangely extended Bahrain circuit was to prove a testing experience. Vettel showed the Red Bull’s pace but after he suffered (and not for last time) mechanical problems it was to be a processional victory for Fernando Alonso.

This was of course to be a false dawn as by the time the European season kicked off the battle was well and truly on between the McLarens and the Red Bull’s.

There have been technical troubles, team mate crashes, brilliant drives and moments of madness. with 2 races to go any one of Button, Hamilton, Vettel, Alonso or Webber could win. Button fell out of contention in Brazil and Lewis Hamilton’s hopes may be more of a mathematical possibility but one thing is for certain that tomorrows Grand Prix is going to be something Very Special.

Will Fernando Alonso perform one of the greatest comebacks to secure a Third world championship, moving him into same league as Ayrton Senna, Jack Brabham and Jackie Stewart; Will Sebastian Vettel mark out the place in the history books as the youngest ever World Champion; Will Mark Webber prove that grit and determination are all you need to overcome all obstacles; or can Lewis Hamilton once again prove that the championship isn’t over until the final race is won

As a great man once said – “anything can happen in Formula One, and it usually does”

Tomorrow is going to be quite a day!

Tail End Charlies

In the 1980’s and early 90’s it was still possible for anyone with a spanner and a little ambition to set up a Grand Prix team. The result was some of the most legendary rejects of our time.

There was Coloni who turned up to but failed to qualify for an incredible 67 Grands Prix. The legendary Andrea Moda who to save money once sent out Perry McCarthy to qualify on wets at a bone dry Silverstone. There was Forti Course who went from being a rich team with a bad car to a broke team with a great one. And does anyone remember Life? Somewhere in the world that car is still on it’s flying lap!

Of course this had to end, and changes in the rules stopped these notorious teams from taking up garage space at GP weekends… until now!

We have 4 (and a bit) new teams and the chances for some tail end inepititude are much increased. Especially as the need for cash injections is seeing the return of the backmarker's best friend, the pay driver! I wonder what Giovanni Lavaggi is up to these days?

Anyway, who are this new generation of tail end charlies and what are their chances for success/hilarity?

*Virgin*

Neé Manor Motorsport. An Impressive motorsport pedigree and a car designed by Nick “Simtek” Wirth, completely on an etch-a-sketch. Not only are they the first team since Lola in 1997 to arrive on the scene without a car having seen a wind tunnel (and we know which way that went) but their name is certain to provide many opportunities for commentary hilarity! “And he’s coming inside the Virgin”. Still the car looks good and I’d expect lots of Branson-esque publicity stunts throughout the season

*USF1*

USF1 have been in a wind tunnel, but if internet rumour is to be believed they don’t actually have anything close to a working car, which is a handicap in qualifying (Just ask Perry McCarthy). Making the brave move to be based outside the F1 Heartland, USF1 will commute for every race. Not a plan that worked for Michael Andretti and he had the Concorde. It's also now looking increasingly like if they do ever appear it won't be until China/Silverstone/The Post Season Party. With the news of Campos Meta being saved, USF1 unfortunately remains the best chance for a “Lola 2010”

*Campos Meta*

Have seemingly been struggling since they were first announced. Apparently new investment has improved their chances of making the grid. The car is built by Dallara and they have a Senna on their books, not to mention an impressive record in junior catagories. I’m hoping they pull through and can become the 21st century’s Minardi.

*Lotus*

“Lot’s of trouble, usually serious!” The grand old name is back, shame it’s not actually the grand old team. Will probably suffer the “Wimbledon” syndrome of being touted as the British Ferrari when they do well, otherwise they’re that Malaysian team. Probably will be the best of the noobs and might give the STR’s and Force India’s a run for their money. Two GP winners on the books can’t hurt, even if one of them is Jarno Trulli
.
*BMW Sauber Ferrari*

OK, not technically a “new” team but possibly the greatest oxymoron in motorsport. (I’m not sure Honda’s "Earthcar" ever did run in the “fuel burning” session of qualifying). After BMW cut their losses and ran, it's just a great thing that they have pulled through and i wish them every success. In Pedro de la Rosa they have an experienced but aging test driver who hasn’t raced in years. (If that doesn’t work I hear Luca Badoer is available). Young Kamakazi could be fun though. Have been seen to top the time sheets in testing. Anyone who points out that they also have zero sponsors is just being cynical.

*Stefan GP*

One of my favourite GP Stories took place In 1977. A German driver called Hans Heymar missed the cut for his first (and only) Grand Prix, in Germany at Hockenheim. Not wanting his weekend to be over too soon, Heymar turned up anyway on race day and thought “sod it!” While no-one was looking he snuck his car out of the pits and lined up to take the start, much to the amusement of the crowd. In the end Heymar’s GP "career" was over after 9 laps and he was expunged from the records. In 2010 and the spirit of Hans lives on in Stefan GP. Amazingly they are possibly the best prepared of any of the new teams having basically bought Toyota, and their stillborn 2010 car. They have two cars, engines and bizarrely they seem to have Jacques Villeneuve. What they don’t have is a grid slot, but hey ho. Maybe nobody will notice! The cars are on route to Bahrain anyway, which is more than USF1 can boast.


So far Lotus and Virgin are the only cars to hit the track, with Lotus seeming to have the upper hand. There is, however, a month to go and as Murray Walker once said:

"Anything can happen in Formula One, and it usually does!"

GP and Me

If the bookies are to be believed then this Sunday evening Jenson Button's Fairytale Grand Prix season will be capped off with the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year Award. I shall, of course, be picking up the phone to register my vote for the Frome flyer. Admittedly as a motor racing fan I am of course more a little biased. I do not mean to belittle the achievements of the other nominees, it's just that when it come to sport, I'm afraid there can only ever be one.

My love affair with racing began when, as a child, I watched the fierce battles between Mansell, Piquet, Senna & Prost on television before recreating them over and over on my living room floor. (A pleasure think is probably denied to the kids of today - The last time I looked in a toy shop the only model racing cars I could find where of Roary the Racing Car or from Disney's Cars.) My Matchbox grids of old may well have been an mismatch of contemporary and historic machines but in my adolecent mind all that mattered was that they were racing cars - and where racing cars went, drama and excitement were never far away.

It was of course a feeling that could never leave me. I will never forget the feeling that shot through me when I first heard the scream of a Grand Prix car driven in anger. The anticipation that builds in you as you walk into a quiet circuit at some ungodly hour in the morning to stake your claim on some dusty or mud soaked vantage point overlooking these hallowed strips of tarmac.

Those who never caught the bug can never understand those magic nights you crawl of out a barely disturbed bed as the world a round you sleeps, to tune into live footage from a distant continent. You know the race will be repeated at sensible o'clock tomorrow afternoon but that's not the point. When it's live you are part of the action in a way that replay can never possibly equal. It's just a mirage, an echo of a moment long since past in which fate has already dealt his cards.

It has only been a month since the curtain fell on the 2009 Season but it already seems an eternity. Each day the countdown clock on the Autosport homepage ticks away the seconds until the action resumes again. The articles provide teasers and conversation points as I try to fill the winter void with speculation of things to come. To predict the next chapter of story not yet written, but one which you know will be packed with a familiar drama & excitement... and of course a little controversy.

So I apologise to Beth Tweddle, Ryan Giggs et al, my vote will be going to Jenson. Because although I'll never be a part of Formula One, I know that Formula One will always be a part of me.

Brawn but Not Forgotten

Well It's all over!

17 Races, 8 Victories and 2 World Championships later the Brawn GP name has gone from F1 as quickly as it appeared.

It will become the Mercedes team in Formula One next year. The first Works Mercedes team since 1955. (Lets all hope there's a streamliner ready for Monza!)

I guess the problem with fairy tales is that they must all come to an end.

Some Bright Spark

So the great leader has decreed that soon we must all be driving electric cars because petrol is evil and the polar bears are starting to sweat.

Now on the basis that National Grid production has to be stepped up dramatically during the end credits of Coronation Street allowing for the switching on of the nations kettles, how will it cope with 20 million motorists simultaniously plugging in at 7pm each evening?

Some morning's I honestly think this country would be in a better position with Edd the Duck in charge

Still, it's a good time to buy shares in Scalextric

Coulthard calls it a day

It may not be the biggest shock of the F1 season so far - Max in his y-fronts probably steals that honour - but David Coulthard has today confirmed that this will be his last season of Grand Prix racing.

With Red Bull keen to promote Vettel and Mark Webber being consistantly fast in the sister car, DC's chances of a Red Bull Reprieve for 2009 were always looking slim.

David Coulthard won 13 Grands Prix in a career that began in the turmoil of May 1994. By Portugal 1995 he had won his first race, and could have won the final race in Melbourne had he not misjudged the pit-lane entry and parked in a wall.

1996 saw a switch from Williams to McLaren who after several difficult years with uncompetitive cars were starting to turn the corner. It would be another season though before they were finally on the pace. Coulthard took that long awaited win for McLaren - the first in partnership with Mercedes - at Melbourne in 1997 and would go on to win again at Monza.

12 Months later Coulthard should have repeated his Melbourne success, however a "Gentleman's Agreement" saw him slow to a near standstill to allow Mika Hakkinen through to take the win. It would perhaps prove a pivotal moment in the balance of power within the team and Mika would go on to take the next two World Championships.

2000 was a dramatic year for DC. In April he would join the list of British Drivers to have won their home Grand prix in a famous race at a Mud-Covered Sliverstone. In May he was lucky to escape with his life when a plane he was on crashed killing it's two pilots. Just a month after this tragedy Coulthard proved his was just as focused as ever by winning on the streets of Monte-Carlo.

In his post McLaren years DC changed from the company controlled McLaren Driver into an outspoken elder statesman of Grand Prix racing. He is always ready to throw in an inspired quip when the moment suits - as his McLaren sucessor Juan Pablo Montoya discovered the weekend he "Fell off his Tennis Raquet". Hopefully the rumours will prove true and he will take up a microphone next to Martin Brundle at the BBC next year!

It is worthy of note that during his career David Coulthard has scored more World Championship points than any other British Driver in F1 history - his all time tally is beaten only by Schumacher, Senna and Prost

Roll of Honour

My Top 5 Most Memorable Computer Game Characters


1. Portal - The Companion Cube:

It’s a cube with a pink heart painted on the side. Not obviously a legendary character but during the short time you spend together it saves your life, helps you complete your goals and breaks your heart. In it’s final tragic twist it is distroyed at your own hands leaving an emotional scar that will never quite heal.


2. Max – Sam & Max Hit the Road:

Max is a a hyperkinetic rabbity thing intent on chaos and distruction. What more could you ask for?


3. The Military Advisor – Civilisation 2

Conquering the World is hard, as many people have discovered over the years. Sometimes when you find yourself caught in a pincer movement between the armies of Queen Elizabeth the 1st and Abraham Lincoln, you need a little re-assurance, and often a calm voice pointing out that building another 60 battleships is always a good idea.


4. Jools & Jops: Cannon Fodder

It’s slogan of “War has never been so much fun” hid a message of pacifism. After every level you paid tribute to your fallen comrades and watched the cemetary slowly filling up behind the queue of willing conscripts. None were missed so much as your first two soldiers. After all you’d come into the game together, but only one of you would see it through.

5. The Mechanic from Toca Race Driver 3.

I know you thought you were helping mate but for the love of God just leave me alone!! I was racing in the DTM when you found me, I made the podium that day. A few pieces of helpful advice later and I am back in England looking at a season in Clio’s. No matter how you look at that it’s a backwards step. I would take me several seasons before the DTM will come knocking again, during which time you will have me peddling everything from Trucks to Baja buggies. You my old mucka… are Fired!!

The way we were!

Five things that used to be great but we don’t just have them anymore.


1: Global Hypercolor T-Shirts.

A Garment so high tech that it could change colour depending on the temparature, turning the embarassment of sweaty pits into a bold fashion statement! It was pure science availiable to buy at C&A. Wearing that Blue T-shirt with my pink sweat marks I was in the future, and flying cars and hoverboards must surely be imminent.

2: Zeppelins

Combine the excitement of flying with the comfort of a cruise ship. Obviously filling them with highly explosive gasses was a design set-back, but with modern design and inert gasses they would be perfectly safe in light to moderate winds on a nice sunny day.

3: Cross Channel Hovercrafts

They were supposed to be the future, then they were the present for a bit before finally being killed off by something from the past – a humble train! It was a fantastic solution to problem that didn’t really exist. But the dream lives on in the garden sheds of Flymo owners everywhere!

4: Murray Walker Commentaries

Murray Walker could talk about paint drying and leave feeling like you had just seen the greatest TV spectacle since that Rainbow episode where Zippy played with his twanger. We can only hope that a one-off appearance to mark the return of F1 to the BBC is not out of the question.

5: Concorde

The 747 was almost invented by accident. Supersonic air travel was the future and Boeing was working on the american Conkers. It was with this in mind that some clever chap thought that there would be a market for a large cargo carrier, because there would not be room on the small passenger jets. The result made Concorde virtually redundant and brought low cost air-travel to the masses. Today Concorde sits in museums as the news gets excited about cruise liners again. History has taken a backwards step!

Every Second Counts

Well it looks like at some point today Martin Johnson will become the England Boss and Brian Ashton will be gently pushed out of Twickenham's back door into that little industrial estate behind the RFU's headquarters. Is that really a fitting end for a manager whose tenure as boss although rarely spectacular - can hardly be called a disaster!

I was there at Twickenham the day an angry crowd turned on Andy Robinson. In one voice 70,000 people told one man that he'd better not make any appointments for the following week - I've heard few people actually call for Ashton's demise.

It is true that we lost to Wales and came very close to being humbled by the mighty Italy - but we came through the storm and somehow found ourselves as Runners-up! We even managed to beat the French!

The World Cup also was supposed to be a disaster, but once again we made the Final. Had a foot not touched some painted grass then England could have been Champions, London would have had a big party and the Queen would have been scratching around in her honours box to find some more medals.

As an Englishman i have long since learned that 2nd is as close to victory as we're usually likely to get. And often thanks to terms such as "Penalty Shootout" and "Batting Collapse", we rarely get that far.

So over to you Jonno even if you are arriving just in time to take a holiday while the team are in New Zealand. It's not the poisoned challace that Italian bloke inherited over at Wembley by any means. The raw talent is there and you are proven and determined leader who won't stop until you get your hands on that shiny gold cup once more.

I look forwards to the Johnson years with much anticipation. But I also feel that something is not quite right in the way Ashton was treated in the end. He may not have been the charismatic and inspirational leader you need when you are trailing at half-time. Some players have made claims that perhaps they made the final despite him, rather than thanks to him. But he will be remembered for doing what we English do best - coming close, falling just short of greatness, and then quietly moving on without any fuss.