Don’t Panic, Don’t Panic!

“…The Koreans have got the bomb, don’t Panic!!”

That’s probably what Lance Corporal Jones would have said had he heard the news this morning. Of course Clive Dunn’s famous character was I guess in his 80’s in the 1940’s so his chances of having made it until the 60’s were pretty slim.

Still no time for that, gotta build a bomb shelter!

Well bomb shelters were kinda pricey so I’m just going to clad this flatpack shed with corrugated iron. I’ll just leave a small gap for the window to be opened, don’t want it to get too stuffy in there!

Right then I suppose I’d have to stay in there a while, so some sort of beverage and daily comestibles would be required. Now space is going to be an issue so I’ll have to cut it right down the basics. My Meal ration will be a Pot Noodle and a 4-pack of Cobra Lager.

Now 3 meals a day for… well it’s gonna be a while, let’s say a year! That’s 1,095 Pot Noodles and 4,380 Bottles of Indian Ale. I’m going to obvious need a Kettle to prepare my potted meal and some sort of refrigeration for my lager – well we’re not savages!

OK, I’ll strap a generator to the roof and a ladder to the side of the shed so I can climb up and refuel the … FUEL!!!

I’m going to need a healthy stock of Diesel to keep that chugging away. Now lets say that in a week it will use about half of what it takes to run my car, that’s gonna be £7,200 Worth of juice, and I’ve just spent £1,600 on Pot Noodles!

Space is becoming an issue, I might have to move this shed into some sort of warehouse. Let’s make it one with it’s own forklift, it’ll help ease the boredom, perhaps some crates to form the outline of a track!

Ok so where am I now on costs… about £250,000 plus the costs of a forklift licence.

And I haven’t even begun to think about a fully plumbed toilet and digital TV so I can watch Motor Racing.

Ah sod Armageddon, I’ll just go down the pub like everyone else!