Nige on Cows & Super-fast Diesels

It’s something we had all suspected, but thanks to “Language Specialists” it can now be confirmed that Cows do indeed have regional accents. I know it comes to many of us as quite a relief. I cannot count the sleepless nights I have spent wondering why it is only Cows from city farms in London that shoot me a jolly wink and call me “Guv’nor”.

Of course it does raise the questions of how much this research cost, who paid for it, and what other important stuff should it have been spent on? The problem as far as I see it is that apart from allowing the BBC to make more Bovine friendly regional programmes, it’s not the huge break-through in 21^st century science that is going to provide me with that Jet-Pack I really, really want.

Although it does allow everyone a day of coming up with interesting dairy-based place names such as Moocastle or ‘Uddersfield. Very A-Moo-sing

Moving away from the subject of pointless expenditure – congratulations to JCB for breaking the World Diesel Land Speed Record and commiseration’s of course to our own JB who had previously held the record for a Journey from Calais to Rouen.

The JCB Team topped 300mph at the legendary Bonneville Salt Flats. Sadly they didn’t do it in one of their range of Earth-movers as that would have made stunning telly.

News from the Bryson camp suggests that JB is currently readying his Ford Focus for a possible afternoon run – probably to Burger King*.

And so as we embrace this new age of diesel velocity, we can await the next revelations about the animal kingdom, my money is on Hamsters being very loyal to their local Football Clubs.

*Other things to eat at lunchtime are availiable, such as Sausage Rolls, Guava fruit and Chicken Madras